20131121 Dog Deleted
A few weeks back, we featured some of our favourite excuses from our kids to not do homework. That’s fine as far as it goes to try not to even start it. But it leaves a critical part of the equation out: what to tell their teachers once they get to school. The old homework excuses, such as ‘my dog ate it’, ‘I left it at home’, ‘I thought it was due next week’ and so on, now not only don’t wash, but show a remarkable paucity of imagination.

In this digital age, there are some newer ones making their way up the list, such as ‘we were out of printer ink’, ‘we lost connection to the internet’ and ‘dad deleted it by accident’. While more up to date, they still don’t demonstrate the creativity that you’d hope for from a 21st Century child.

No. Today, we need Steve Job’s size creativity applied to our children’s homework excuses. We can’t quite reach that level of delinquent genius, but here are some of our favourites. Oh, and we might have made most of them up.

  1. I did it in my head.
  2. I’m only 12 years old and have yet to develop impulse control and the ability to defer gratification.
  3. My dad said that if I did homework I wouldn’t be able to grow up to be like him.
  4. It was such a masterpiece of brilliance and creativity that my mother took it to have it framed.
  5. I gave it to a homeless man to help him insulate his cardboard box.
  6. I already gave it to you (only do this if while lying, you can stare people straight in the eyes with the kind of confidence that undermines their own and secures your future in government).
  7. Just like you forgot to set us homework last week, I forgot to do it this week.
  8. Children in our country can’t get enough calories, and we’re worried about my homework?
  9. I don’t take my schoolwork home, so why should I bring my homework to school?
  10. I’m lazy, apathetic and honest.

Disclaimer – kids, if you accidentally got to this page and read this, you really must do your homework. And if you don’t, only excuse number 10 works. But it still doesn’t make up for leaving school uneducated.

So – what are some of your favourites?

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